I Shouldn’t Be Alive: John Hulgan’s Story of Addiction, Faith and Redemption

I Shouldn’t Be Alive: John Hulgan’s Story of Addiction, Faith and Redemption

John Hulgan says his battle with addiction began when he was just 12 years old.

At a concert in Birmingham, Hulgan drank half a pint of whiskey. He became so sick that he believes that moment was a warning sign of where addiction could lead.

Around that same time, Hulgan says he was introduced to marijuana. Looking back, he believes that if he had become addicted to alcohol while also mixing it with the pills he later began taking, the combination could have been deadly.

By 15, Hulgan said he was addicted to cocaine. By 16, prescription pills were easy to get, and he said he could buy all kinds of medications for around $100.

He tried nearly every drug except using a needle. After watching a friend nearly die from an overdose and driving him to the hospital, Hulgan said he knew that was a line he didn’t want to cross.

Hulgan said he had always been a nervous person with a weak stomach, and medications like Xanax and other benzodiazepines seemed to quiet his anxiety. Looking back, he wonders how much of the person people loved was really him and how much was the drugs.

After graduating high school at 18, Hulgan told his mother he needed help. He entered rehab for 30 days, but when he returned home, his tolerance had dropped and he began using again.

After an accident while working at Walmart Distribution, he was prescribed OxyContin. From age 21 through most of his adult life, marijuana, Xanax, and other opioids became a daily part of his life.

Looking back, Hulgan said the greatest blessings during those years were the births of his three children. Everything else came at a tremendous cost. Meth destroyed his first marriage, and addiction eventually destroyed his second.

Thirteen years ago, at 44 years old, Hulgan was involved in a motorcycle accident that nearly took his life. He suffered broken ribs and brain bleeds and wasn’t expected to survive.

“I wasn’t supposed to wake up, but God woke me up,” Hulgan said.

When he woke up, his little brother told him he had struck a man who was pushing his bicycle across the road and that the man had died. Hulgan said that under Florida law, they both had the right of way, but learning what had happened was devastating.

After being released from the hospital, he was sent home with what should have been months’ worth of medication. He finished it in just 30 days.

Eight years ago, on Nov. 19, Hulgan overdosed. He was placed on a ventilator, and doctors told his mother and little brother there was nothing more they could do. He was removed from life support.

Three days later, he woke up.

Looking back, Hulgan believes God wasn’t finished with him.

Even after surviving that overdose, his addiction continued. Hulgan overdosed four more times before finally reaching a breaking point.

Fifteen months and 22 days ago, Hulgan said he reached a moment that changed everything. He found himself close to putting a needle in his arm to get high.

That was when he knew his addiction had gone too far.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he remembers telling himself.

Three years ago, he stopped taking Xanax, despite taking what he describes as enough to “sedate an elephant.”

In January 2024, he ended what he calls his “love affair” with marijuana.

Then, on April 1, 2025, he stopped taking opioids.

Today, Hulgan says with confidence that he will never get high again.

“I know God won’t give up on us,” he said. “But He also told me He wasn’t going to wake me up again.”

One moment stands out as a turning point in his recovery.

For years, Hulgan couldn’t look at himself in the mirror. He paid people to shave his head because he couldn’t stand seeing his own reflection.

The day he stood in front of the mirror and shaved his own head was the moment he realized something had changed.

“That was the first time I had done that in years. I hadn’t been able to look at myself in the mirror for a long, long time. I couldn’t live that way anymore.”

Today, Hulgan says his life is good, but one prayer remains close to his heart.

“My life is perfect except not having a relationship with my kids.”

Last Father’s Day, he prayed that this Father’s Day would be different.

“I’m believing I’ll spend it with my kids.”

He also credits his wife as his biggest supporter. The two met when he was 16 years old and she was 12. She was one of his younger brother’s friends. They reunited on May 3, the day before his birthday, and on July 26 they will celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

“God put us together,” he said.

Hulgan says he will gladly share his story because he doesn’t want anyone else to make the same mistakes he did.

Today, he says his addiction has been replaced by something far different.

“I’m addicted to Jesus, the gym and catching fish. I like lake fish, pond fish, tropical fish, aquarium fish… all kinds of fish.”

One of the verses that continues to encourage him is Hosea 2:15:

“I will restore to you the joy of the years you lost and give you a new beginning.”

For Hulgan, that promise is one he believes is still unfolding every day.

He wants to personally apologize to anyone he introduced to drugs. He says he is truly sorry. There are friends he has lost over the years who he will never have the chance to apologize to, and he says that is something that still hurts him deeply.

His story is one of addiction, loss, second chances and faith, and today, he hopes it serves as a reminder that no one is beyond redemption.